New Year smell not like new trainer smell

Everyone goes on about new car smell especially the yanks but new trainer smell is the new new car smell. New trainer smell is great. It’s a mix of new rubber, leather, glue, sweatshop kid sweat and a joint government/Nike conspiracy of an addictive cocktail of drugs to make you want to buy new trainers. During the peak of my sneaker-snorting addiction in the mid-90's my life was ruined, my girlfriend had left me, I had to declare bankruptcy and I couldn't leave the house without strapping on a new trainer to my nose. My only hope was the trainer equivalent of the Betty Ford clinic, the Jordan Shelltoe Priory. Salvation was through the bare foot, beach walking treatments, weekly tests of walking past JD Sports without entering and the final test of walking on hot coals. A number of times the staff caught me drawing logos and symbols on my feet which escalated to me claiming I had invented the world's first invisible and lightest Air Max. Creosote was substituted and I am now addicted to visiting garden centres and Homebase.

Second best smell is the smell of money, not the coins side of currency as they smell of my left pocket which is quite close to my other precious things. Interesting gingerdj fact: I always put my spare change in my left pocket, never my right unless its money I don't own. My keys always go in my right but cheap trouser pockets wear down quickly with spiky keys so may have to change that tradition plus the fact that any internet savvy picket pockets doing some desktop research could find themselves a good tip for robbing ginger bloggers. I won't advertise where I put my wallet which reminds me to finish my smell favourites - paper-based cash, hmmm lovely. If only money vouchers could capture that aroma.

As you can tell, work is non-existent at the moment which you'd think I'd be lapping up with trivial internet searches and general slacking. However, New Year's resolutions and planning are putting my aspirations into perspective therefore I've put two applications in for a couple of jobs in the university marketing department. I've previously applied for one of them 6 months ago and heard nothing so hoping a change of tact will get me an interview at least. It's more money and more responsibility so blogging and slacking will be reduced. Should hear something in February.

Last week was also pulling focus on goals for the year and future. The possibility of getting a bigger house in Southampton away from the chavs of the local area. Yes, the boring, snobbish, middle-classed, mid-30's have officially arrived! With the house looking to enter the final chapter of our residence we've been planning the repair and decoration. Stripping the shoddy wallpapering effort we did 2 years ago on the hall/stairs yesterday revealed a dark green and black look out of the 1930's and smelt a little like piss! Not sure if it’s something to worry about. Does arsenic in old paint smell of urine?

Telly for the New Year is getting better. After this years Celeb Big Bro, which already has had some classic moments, My name is Earl of Friday night (Channel 4) is ace. Hearing Rob Base and  DJ EZ Rock will never be the same again. Looking forward to Hyperdrive which could replace Red Dwarf as the next Sci-fi-sit-com. There's a good cast: Nick Frost (Mike from Spaced) and Kevin Eldon (Big Train), so it better be good or there'll be trouble. On the same night, Lost series 1 will complete this Wednesday which will put us out of our misery ready for series 2. Finally, Life on Mars could be interesting with Human Traffic bloke in a back in time cop drama.
Dates to get excited about are 2nd Feb for Goldfrapp and Mighty Boosh on the 9th, both at the Southampton Guildhall. Plus, 15th May will be Dara O'Briain at the Nuffield Theatre which is only metres away from where I sit now at work.

Found this interesting link which came from the same place as the photo:

http://www.blueteagames.com/cactusbruce/index.html