Rest in peace Mum

Coming up with a title for this entry was really hard for me but not quite as hard as my past week.

My last blog mentioned my poor mum and her decline in health. After visiting her Sunday I managed to convince she should visit the doctor. After a call to say I'd arrived home she called back 30 minutes later to say she'd changed her mind as it was worrying her so much and felt she could deal with it on her own. Naturally I felt angry and let down. The calls to her the next two days were to persist she try to eat and even consider a home visit from the district nurse to at least get a blood test to perhaps prove to the doctor there was something more than she would let on. It was hard not to get frustrated and angry as her memory failed to grasp the importance of the matter. Tuesday evening was my last conversation with her as I decided to give her a break of a day without calling her.

With Wednesday a really busy day for me at work I doubled my efforts to call her and convince her to see the doctor. Every hour from 9am I rang her number until the evening with no joy. Was she ignoring all calls, had she fallen and hurt herself, had she just gone out at every attempt or even taken the phone out of the socket? I considered calling the police but the thought of frightening her in the evening put me off.

Another busy day at work with really boring meetings all day. At 9:30am I rang the police to check up on her and awaited some news. I called again at lunchtime with no update. More boring meetings and more worry building. At 3:30pm I rang for the third time with the feeling something was not right getting the response that someone would call me in the next few minutes. The bombshell hit with a PC sergeant breaking the bad news. I was shocked to the core as she was found without injury on her settee as she died in her sleep.