Too good to be true

It might be Ibiza-beating weather out there but I'm feeling the chill of The Shining as destiny whispers suggestions to kill everyone.

Just had a phone call from HR. I didn't get the job in Marketing as someone with alot more experience waded in and pi$$ed on my parade. Other things aren't going my way either. Madonna tickets are like trying to sell gas fires in this weather. Too many fools like me on Ebay so will be advertising at a 99p start price with £100 off reserve price.

Plus there's no air-conditioning in the office! Watch the headlines in case I find an axe.
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