Put your hats on for Detroit!
The day after my birthday (probably whilst writing my brithday blog) I had an out of the blue mobilephone message. The University of Sussex actually invited me for an interview for Monday 18th December. Now the nerves are really kicking in, not just about the interview but the whole move.Friday night we bought a needle shedding mess-maker then settled down to more wrist-flicking action (easy) with Zelda. After only a week the batteries to the Wii remote are almost dead!
Habit-tat
Saturday was a well-appreciated lay-in after Kerry's random working hours and after a Tesco's run our Wii addiction kicked in and the house got neglected from ever being tidied. We dragged ourselves away from it just in time to get ready for Trev and Viv's hat party. Preparations started mid-week after getting the Final Scratch working on Windows with a mini-set of new tunes. Also, Kerry already had some fancy dress accessories she'd acquired for a training role-play thing therefore contributing to the hat cause. I was looking for a different look and found the nun's habit which really cracked Steve up when we turned up (Thanks Steve for the wooden Tokyo toy set).
Déjà Wilde and Blog Stalker
It was good to see some new faces at the party though Trev needs to build an extension and get an air-conditioner. Jake, who's rapidly turning into a 16 year old George Best, suffered from Senile Artois. At 10pm he talked to me about his ring-tone being 'Put your hands up for Detroit' then something about his job, an hour later he repeated the same spiel again.
After exiting the toilet I finally met my first blog stalker, Gavin. Steve, who wore a borderline geek t-shirt labelled 'Tom is not a friend of mine' that only Kerry, himself and me understood, had mentioned awhile ago that someone always exits his blog to mine. And here he was, quoting details only a very dedicated stalker could know - this one's for you Gavin! This must be what fame feels like, though on a one-to-one level. Gavin was later witnessed attacking the inflatable snowman after mocking him.
DJ game, set and match
New DJ friend Pav played some nice Brazilian fringed house to start the evening then Kev stressing over his Final Scratch eventually pleasing the 'chart slags' for predictably the Detroit song. Made Kev's night again by getting him to swop amps for my MP3 only set. It was a marmite experience - you either loved it or hated it. Less than an hour later Marc was playing.
Finally, I met my Simon Pegg look-a-like match. Though ginger hair and side-burns doesn't always equal Shaun of the Dead actor likeness we did share ginger related problems with old women cooing over us as kids.
Speaking of Shaun of the Dead I discovered another famous person to share my birthday - the living legend, Bill Nighy. If I could remain as cool as him when I get to his age I'll be happy.
Comments
The shocking thing is I can't hide behind the cloak of amnesia or being too off my face to remember attacking the snowman as I was fine! (which I'm not sure is worse or not)
That Snowman knew what was coming if he continued to mock me - but he was like Ivan Drago - just wouldn't go down!
Pleasure to finally put a non pixilated face to the blog and hope the experience of meeting your very own cyber stalker wasn't too painful - at least I let you zip yourself up first!
Have some Hoff-isms as apology which are doing the rounds this morning - very similar to the Chuck Norris ones but equally hilarious -:
1. David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
3. When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
4. When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
5. When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.
7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
8. David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.
9. Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
10. When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.
11. David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.
12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
13. David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's sh1t.
14. David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
15. David Hasselhoff is the reason why Wally is hiding.
16. David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
17. You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
19. David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20. If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammy's are for queers."
Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
21. On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
22. When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
23. Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
24. David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
25. David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
26. David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
27. The eternal connundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.